Unbreakable Mind & Body

Your Past Doesn't Define You: Building an Unbreakable Mind and Body

• Tiana • Episode 1

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In this premiere episode, I open the door to my journey from survival mode to intentional living, revealing how overcoming challenges shaped my approach to both mental and physical strength.

Growing up with young, divorced parents created complicated relationships that left lasting impressions on my sense of self-worth. Though I appeared strong on the outside—bartending nights after office work, hitting after-hours clubs, and pushing through on minimal sleep—I was fragile and weak, and tired from wearing masks.

The constant refrain of "make your own money" and "never rely on a man" echoed from my childhood, creating defense mechanisms that initially seemed protective but ultimately limited my growth.

The turning point came when I realized that trust issues with others stemmed from a fundamental lack of trust in myself. I didn't know how to establish healthy boundaries or honor my own needs. This podcast represents my commitment to sharing those hard-earned lessons—many of the stories I've previously kept hidden out of fear. 

When I recorded thirteen episodes in 2022 and shelved them, I recognized a pattern: by silencing my experiences, I wasn't just limiting my own creative expression but potentially withholding insights that could help others navigate similar experiences.

Whether you're struggling with self-worth, facing career transitions, or working to build physical and mental resilience, this weekly podcast offers both raw honesty and practical advice. If you're not actively, intentionally pursuing better health and growth, you're choosing the alternative. 

Subscribe to the show and join me in building an unbreakable mind and body—one story, one challenge, and one victory at a time.

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Disclaimer: This show is for education and entertainment purposes only. This is not intended as a replacement for therapy. Please seek out the help of a professional to assist you with your specific situation.


Tiana:

What's going on? Welcome to episode one of the Unbreakable Mind and Body Podcast. I'm your host, tiana, and I am so grateful to have you here in this space, in this container, in this moment with me. The main theme of this show is overcoming adversity, and I plan to help you with difficult situations that you are either currently facing or that you might encounter in your future, by sharing stories about challenges I've overcome in my professional life, with family members and, of course, in the romance department. What sets me apart from many people that you may encounter is my own unique skillset and experience. In fact, that's what separates each of us from the next person. So there is value in coming together and in sharing stories and in placing you in those details that allow you to really submerge yourself and feel what was happening at the time. Oftentimes, we don't think of something until it's been presented to us, or we don't think of a question until somebody else asks it, and then you say to yourself oh, that's a good question, I'd like to know that information too. That's really what the point of this podcast is. So today you'll get a picture of who I am and my background, and as we continue, episode to episode, we'll get real gritty into the details of some really juicy stories and some situations, twists, turns, changes in direction.

Tiana:

It's happened time and time again where I've started something and then I've changed my mind and I used to be disappointed by that. I used to be pissed if I decided, ah, this isn't working out, I guess it's just going to suck. No, now I'll say to myself this isn't working out, I need to make a change. Both of them are saying it's not working out. One person the first is saying I'll suck it up and deal with it. The other is saying I'll make a change. It could be a drastic change, it could be a minor change, it can be internal, it could be external. The possibilities are endless. But how you choose to do the next thing is what I'm here to help you with.

Tiana:

So I'm a personal trainer and nutrition coach. I work exclusively in person at the moment and I love what I do. I love being able to give my clients tactile cues, I love to see their eyes light up when the things connect, and I love teaching them about movement and how to fuel their bodies properly so that they can thrive, as they are also making permanent changes to their lifestyle habits and creating things that they want for themselves, for example, feeling vibrant as they get older, playing with their teenage kids, being able to run after their grandkids, just moving better in general. Sometimes what someone wants is so simple. It's almost too easy for them to figure it out because the answer is very obvious. Sometimes it's much more complex and therefore they need another set of eyes, another set of hands, another problem solver to be in the mix. Regardless of the complexity or not of a situation, I love to be involved in the process.

Tiana:

Now, the creative process is my favorite place and, speaking about creative processes, this show in and of itself was a process. I had birthed this idea in 2021 with my former business coach, Jill Coleman, shout out to Jill, and she gave me this idea and said, " you got to get in the podcast space. If it's even an inkling of what you want to do, you got to do it. Now. You need to get in there. I bought some cheap ass equipment, I got some training and I recorded 13 episodes. What did I do with them? Absolutely nothing. Why? Because I was scared, and I know some people listening to this are going to say you, you were scared. You're never scared. Oh, yes, I am. I'm scared all the time. I usually still go on and do whatever it is I'm scared of, though, but in this case, I didn't, and I'm going to tell you why.

Tiana:

I had a really challenging relationship with both of my parents growing up. They were young when they had me, and they got divorced when I was young, and I had a really complicated relationship with my father. I also had a really complicated relationship with my father. I also had a really complicated relationship with my mother, and I've never been close to both at the same time. Unfortunately for me. I've always had to juggle that, and I just didn't want to hurt anyone, but the truth is. The truth is my experiences are mine, and they were real and they did happen, and even if, perhaps, what I remember is extreme or is not exactly what occurred, that was my experience at that time as a child. That is how I felt in that moment, and some of those things are really hard to let go of.

Tiana:

When it came to it in 2022, when I recorded these 13 episodes, there were some stories in there that I knew were going to be probably problematic Eyebrow raising, pearl clutching and I just decided I didn't want to deal with it. Well, guess what? I did that a couple of years prior when I started writing my book. And guess what? I did that also a few years prior. So this situation has come up. This is not the first time, but this is the first time that I'm just going to go ahead and rip the bandaid off, because by keeping these stories locked up, I'm not helping anyone. By keeping these things to myself, I'm jamming up my flow. Artists need to create and if they're not creating, they're suffering. Musicians play music, dancers dance, painters, paint, writers write, singers sing. Do you see where I'm going with this?

Tiana:

I'm a storyteller, I have the gift of gab, I love to talk, and anyone who works with me knows they can hear me yapping, yapping, yapping all day. And the funny thing is, I actually thought I was an introvert for a period of time. No, it wasn't that I was just working in isolation, but I was home as a function of my work. And the truth is I needed socialization, I needed to be around some people, I needed to get out into the world, and I do love people and I love to talk. So this could be a fantastic outlet for me and it could be a great way for us to connect.

Tiana:

If something I say is relatable, let me know. Please check the show notes. It has all the ways that you can find me out in the world and reach out to me and share with me your similar stories, because this is how we can flourish by coming together. You don't always have to do everything alone. In fact, I just saw a piece of content moments ago, before I started recording, that said if you have the mindset of thinking that no one understands me and I'm just out here on my own, then that will be your truth. But if you realize that maybe you are not easily understood, but there are other people out there with similar situations that you could at least give them a chance to see if they can empathize with you, you'd probably be better off.

Tiana:

One of the recurring themes that I'm going to be touching on a lot on this show is worthiness, particularly self-worth, the worthiness you assign to yourself, the worthiness that you feel internally, because it impacts everything, including how you show up in work, conversations, in your personal relationships, and it was something I had to teach myself how to discover as an adult. It's not anyone's fault. I did the best I could at the time with the tools I had at my disposal. I wasn't taught certain things as a child. I had to figure it out. I thought that being independent was the only way for me "Make your own money. Keep a mattress fund, have the fuck you money. Never rely on a man. These were the things I was indoctrinated with as a little girl, I kid you, not five years old, six years old. Seven years old both my mother and father saying these things to me I had major trust issues.

Tiana:

I didn't trust a lot of people, but really, what I figured out this came to light probably about 10, 15 years ago in therapy. I didn't trust myself. I didn't know how to establish a boundary in a healthy way, nor did I know how to maintain it. Nor did I realize that I don't have to explain myself to everyone. No is a complete sentence. So if a guy asks me a question and I'm uncomfortable with it, I can simply say no. I don't have to get into all this wishy-washy and then this and then that and explaining no, that's trauma, baby. We don't do that anymore. And that self-worth piece has been a game changer for me that feeling of knowing who I am and knowing that I got this and that I'm not going to betray myself anymore. Now there's another layer to this.

Tiana:

There came a point in time where I started to really trust myself and I knew that I was raising my standards and elevating myself up. As far as who did I want to be romantically involved with? Who did I want to run in circles with? Who did I want to be friends with? What types of people? How did I want to feel? And when I say types of people, I'm talking about the personality type, the energy. Did I feel good around them or were they sucking the life out of me? Now here's the thing I started to elevate.

Tiana:

But the old version of me was still thriving inside. The old version of me still wanted to go to after hours. The old version of me was still thriving inside. The old version of me still wanted to go to after hours. The old version of me still wanted to hang out with the cute boys that were trouble, that were probably getting banged up on the weekends and sleeping all day on Sunday. That may be cute when you're in high school and college. That's not cute when you are a young woman in your 30s, almost 40, hoping to settle down with someone who can support you emotionally, financially, all the ", okay. So, yeah, it came to a point where I said to myself you know what, just because I can swim in shark infested waters doesn't mean I have to keep jumping in. I need a different body of water to swim in. Because I'm tired of this, because even though I'm strong enough to handle the sharks, I'm still getting bit. I'm still getting my heels nipped at or a little bite here and there, or a scratch or a scar, or I'm bleeding, and I don't want that anymore. So it's time to make different choices. And let me tell you something there are parts of younger me that I miss so much. I miss that girl. My God, she was such a badass.

Tiana:

I would work full time Monday through Friday. I wasn't making enough money. I would bartend Thursday night, come home, take a little nap for about two hours, go to work all day Friday in the office, come home, basically shower, change, go back to the bar, bartend Friday night, sleep all day Saturday. Maybe go to the gym, maybe get my nails done. Bartend again Saturday night. And then oh, guess what, like an idiot, what do you think I did? You think I went home after working on Saturday night? Oh, hell, no, your girl would go to after hours. Why? Because, quote unquote it was justified.

Tiana:

I was working so hard, I never had any fun, so I was going to go have fun, go to after hours somewhere in some like fire hazard, rinky dink place underground or like some secret hotel party or like some place with like no windows, just all blacked out, pitch black inside, drugs everywhere, like hello. Why was I putting myself in that environment? Why, because I love to dance, because I love the music, and for me my life was so hard. I had to work so hard, so much of the time that I wanted to blow off steam too, now listen. now listen. If that sounds anything like you, I'm not judging you, but that is only going to last for so long, as you can imagine. There was only so much time where I could be burning the candle like that, going to work on Fridays on one or two hours of sleep, being completely exhausted, useless, and then doing it over and over, and over and over again.

Tiana:

It did catch up to me. I wound up having horrible anxiety because of lack of sleep. My body was not responding to the training I was doing. I was basically just maintaining and I wasn't really eating. Well, I was actually super skinny at the time just because I was malnourished and I just thought that that's how it had to be because I couldn't see another way out. The problem was I didn't see better choices in my field of vision because I kept jumping back in those shark infested waters. I kept putting myself in an environment where I knew I really didn't want to be there anymore, but I didn't know how to get out.

Tiana:

And I know that it's hard for some people to wrap their head around this, especially when they work a corporate career, when they are in a male-dominated industry, when they are fighting for their seat at the table in every which way. But you have to remember, everyone walks their own path. And eventually I got really sick and tired of being sick and tired and I got really tired of surviving off the McDonald's dollar menu while I was serving or servicing work requests to women who had rows of red bottom heels under their desk and they would leave them at work, you know, overnight and on the weekends, yeah, and I had a safety pin holding up my pants zipper. Anyway, I went on a complete tangent. But that is a little bit of background on who I am A fighter, a survivor, a figure outer, a problem solver, a yapper, a career changer at the end of it all, I'm proud of who I am today. I'm proud of how far I've come. If you knew me back in my clubbing days, you don't know me anymore. And if you've only known me the last couple of years, there's a lot about me you don't know, and I hope to offer transparency here and I hope to connect with you.

Tiana:

And in the next episode I'm going to dive into the career path more specifically about my journey, particularly in fitness, in online fitness, in in-person fitness, what that looked like for me, how it has played out and where I'm at today, because, ultimately, I do really appreciate my work. My work is a huge piece of who I am and it is a large part of my identity. It's not all of the identity, but it is definitely a huge component. Why? Because I believe that health is wealth. So if you're not thriving, if you're not feeling good, if you're not proactively, deliberately taking intentional action to improve your health, you're actually choosing the opposite of health, which is illness. If you are not, I'm going to say it again if you are not actively, intentionally and deliberately pursuing improving your health, you are choosing illness and disease. Yeah, I said it.

Tiana:

So if you want to get healthy with me, if you want to make your mind healthy, if you want to build a robust body and have cohesiveness as far as a strong mind, a strong body and get resilience, overcoming adversity is how you build resilience. That's how you get grit. How do you overcome adversity? Well, you have to be in some shitty situations and guess what they're going to come. Will you be equipped? Will you make a different decision this time? I hope that the answer is yes. I hope that this podcast is a resource for you to come to. So again, this is episode one. I truly appreciate your time. If you liked anything you heard, please subscribe to the podcast, share the episode with a friend, let them know that I'm here and we are going to be doing this on a weekly basis. We are going to be talking about all of the things that help us become stronger, become more robust, to overcome adversity time and time and time. Again, thanks for being here.