Unbreakable Mind & Body

BONUS! 5 Essential Questions to Achieve Your Goal

• Tiana Gonzalez • Episode 9

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Five powerful questions to help you gain clarity, break through obstacles, and achieve meaningful change in any area of your life. 

Tiana shares an unscripted, heartfelt framework inspired by a conversation with a client that can help you move past being stuck and into action.

• What do you want to accomplish? Get clear and honest about your true goals.


• Why is this important to you and why now? Understand your motivation and timing.


• Are you coachable? Examine if you can truly surrender what you think you know to learn something new.


• What level of support do you need? Be honest about how much guidance you require to implement changes.


• Can you relinquish parts of your old self? Recognize that transformation requires letting go of who you've been.

The most important work is the work you do for yourself, on yourself—this is how you make the world better!

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Disclaimer: This show is for education and entertainment purposes only. This is not intended as a replacement for therapy. Please seek out the help of a professional to assist you with your specific situation.


Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body podcast. I am your host, tiana Gonzalez, a multi-passionate, creative storyteller and entrepreneur with a fierce love for movement. This is our space for powerful stories and actionable strategies to help you build mental resilience and elevate your self-care practice. Together, we will unlock the tools that you need to create an unbreakable mind and body. Welcome back to another episode of the Unbreakable Mind and Body Podcast. This is a bonus episode and it was inspired by a conversation that I had with one of my clients today at the gym. So in the last episode, I talked about the importance of mentorship and I thought to myself, after having this really impactful conversation with my client today, that this would be a great thing for me to share with you. I'm going to keep it bite-size, digestible, and I really for you to answer are questions that will help you gain clarity, especially if you're trying to accomplish something. Whether it is career related or it's a personal health and wellness goal, or it's something that you want to learn a skill, a new hobby, an interest doesn't matter. I want you to think about a couple of things Now. I'm going to give you question numbers and you can just write these down and sit with it All right. So the first question I want you to think about is what do you want to accomplish? I want you to get really clear on this. What do you want to accomplish? Do not be embarrassed by the answer. You have to find the words, you have to find the language, you have to find the concise way to state what it is that you want to accomplish for yourself. Okay, question number two and it's a two-part question why is this important to you and why now? I ask this question often when I am meeting with prospects who are discussing something, they want to accomplish, some kind of change, whether it's short-term or long-term, and often in fitness, I'm encountering people who have tried other things in the past and perhaps they had some temporary success, but it wasn't sustainable, so they fell off. And when we're talking about what they want to accomplish, often people start talking about well, I used to do this and I used to do that, for example. I'll give you an example from me. I am a retired professional bodybuilder, so at various points of time in my life, I was incredibly lean because I was in preparation for a competition which involved getting on stage in a very small bikini, with a tan and hair, makeup, nails, jewelry and very specific posing in order to present my physique to a panel of judges. Some people might think that's ridiculous, some people might not have any interest at all, but for me it was very important because it was something that I was deeply interested in pursuing, and I went through a season where I wasn't interested any longer and then I revisited it. So understanding the motivation behind the desire is incredibly valuable. Again, these are for you to sit with and to explore. These are for you to sit with and to explore, all right.

Speaker 1:

Question number three Are you coachable? A lot of people think that they are coachable, but let's be serious. Not everyone is coachable. There are certain groups of people that I have found throughout my career and just from personal life experience. There are some types of people that are very stubborn, very difficult. They are sometimes not willing to surrender and give up all the things they know already in order to make space to learn new things, and so, therefore, it's very challenging for them. Here's an example Sometimes, when I'm training a client in the gym, I will begin to start demonstrating a movement and the client will be like oh yeah, I know what to do.

Speaker 1:

I didn't finish the demo. But okay, they know what to do, right? I give them the weights or they get themselves set up and they do a completely different movement. They weren't willing to listen to me in the moment, right? Sometimes I'm explaining something and the person will say yeah, I know, I know I got it right, you're supposed to do this, this, this and this, and no, that's not what I was going to say. Sometimes it's a personality thing, sometimes it's somebody eager to show you their knowledge. Neither of those are bad, but it can create a little bit of friction in a learning environment. So, if you're willing to be vulnerable and put your student hat on and be in an environment where you are going to learn, be coachable, have an open mind, be willing and eager to hear and see something new. But a lot of people still need to sit down and ask the question am I coachable? Am I ready to learn more? Question number four what level of support do you need to start making or implementing the changes that you're going to need to make in order to accomplish the thing you wanted to accomplish? Going back to question one, I'll say question number four one more time what level of support do you need to start making or implementing changes to accomplish the thing you want to accomplish. To accomplish the thing you want to accomplish.

Speaker 1:

For some people, they need their hand held. Others, you can give them the plan and they will run with it. They may just need a little supervision, a few check-ins here and there, but they're putting in the work, they're doing the work, they know the thing in there, but they're putting in the work, they're doing the work, they know the thing, and that's not better or worse. It's just a different way of learning, it's a different way of executing. Some people are beginners. They need the support, they need to learn technique, they need the basics, they need that foundation. The other part of this is, sometimes people say they don't need as much support as they actually do need. So that's another area where you can be real honest with yourself how much support am I going to need in this process to make this happen? And to make it happen now, because it's important to me.

Speaker 1:

And the last question, perhaps the most important one of all, the one that might trip you up, the one that might make you pause and say I really need to sit with this, make you pause and say, hmm, I really need to sit with this. Can you relinquish parts of your old self in order to become the version of you that you need to become in order to accomplish the goal set up in question number one? I'm going to say this again because it's a long question Can you relinquish parts of your old identity or your old self to become the person you need to become? This is a tough one for a lot of people. I'll use myself as an example again.

Speaker 1:

So I mentioned bodybuilding before. Right, there were periods of time where I just was not willing to let that go. I wanted to be lean. I wanted to be lean all year round. I struggled post-show. I struggled for months, sometimes years, with body dysmorphia, with feeling defeated, with having feelings of not good enough or that I was an imposter because I didn't look like a competitor. Of course I looked like a competitor every single day. It's just the level are low levels of body fat. I didn't have that and most women shouldn't and wouldn't year round. It's not sustainable nor healthy. That's another podcast episode for a future date, not today, but I was unwilling to surrender that part of myself.

Speaker 1:

In episode seven I talk about how I got into functional fitness and it was not love at first sight, it was a push and pull and it was a freaking grind because I didn't understand how to incorporate certain movements and workouts with my body part training. I wasn't willing to give up doing legs on one day and chest and tris on another day and shoulders on another day, because I was starting to dabble in CrossFit. And I started CrossFit because I wanted to work out in a space where we didn't have mirrors number one and number two. I wanted more socialization and I was working out with a friend of mine. We would go to the same class and work out next to each other and it was a lot of fun.

Speaker 1:

But it took time because I realized I have to train differently and I didn't need to train like I was getting ready for a show, because I wasn't getting ready for a show. So why would I have to train that way? Why would I have to eat that way also? So eventually I loosened my grip, I let go, I surrendered, and that's what I'm asking you. You know something has to change. You get input. Right, you get input. Maybe it's the skills you need, maybe it's the mindset you need. We talked about this a lot in episode eight. Maybe it's shifting your perspective. We talked about that in episode seven.

Speaker 1:

Leave it on the floor, meaning give it your all. Be present in the moment. Think about, you know, putting your stamp on something. Would you have pride in that, whatever that thing is? So I'm going to read through these questions again in case you are finding yourself navigating your thoughts.

Speaker 1:

Let's reel it in a little bit. You want to make some change. Something is nagging you, something is picking at you. You're stuck. You don't know how. Grab that pen and paper. Sit down with these questions. Number one what do you want to accomplish? What do you really want to accomplish? Write all the things down and then maybe focus on one, the big one, the thing that really keeps you up at night. Then you're going to ask yourself number two why is this important to you and why now? Number three are you coachable? Number four what level of support do you need to start implementing change in order to make these things happen? And number five, the big one can you relinquish parts of your old identity to become someone new in order to reach that goal? That's your habit changes. That's your lifestyle changes. That's the new direction you're going in, it's not as scary.

Speaker 1:

You might still be sitting there crying, looking at the one door that was slammed in your face. Let it go. Feel those feelings and then let it go. Give yourself permission to feel the feelings. Then you let it go. Then you breathe Deep breath and then just turn your shoulders a little bit to the right or a little bit to the left, turn your head, turn around. Holy shit, look at all the doors that are starting to open around you. New opportunities, new ways of doing things, new ways of thinking, new habits, a new way to live life. The old version of you got you here, but what got you here is not going to get you there. You know it, and it's time to make change.

Speaker 1:

I really hope that this episode was helpful. This is completely off the cuff, not scripted, not premeditated, completely inspired, not part of my schedule. I just came home and said you know what I got to set up my mic and let's do this thing because this is important. There is enough space for all of us to spread our wings and be successful. There is enough abundance for each of us to shine. Your shine does not take away from anyone else's, so I want you to stop playing small, to stop diminishing yourself, to stop telling yourself negative things or that you're not worthy of the things that you want, because the fuck you are. You are worthy, but the thing is you're still going to have to do the work, you have to show up and you have to be able to surrender Because, just like how the caterpillar goes into its cocoon and it morphs and eventually it comes out beautiful butterfly, there's a stage of metamorphosis where it's not really a caterpillar anymore and it's not really a butterfly.

Speaker 1:

Just yet, it's kind of in the in-between and it's messy and it doesn't always make sense and it's confusing and you're hearing conflicting things and you've got lots of people telling you lots of things because everybody thinks that they know better than the best for you besides you. But you know what's good for you. It's just a matter of getting real with yourself, of being focused, being focused. Now, the big part of this is if you don't know how to make these things happen. That's when you hire someone to help you an expert, a coach, a mentor, a teacher, a trainer, someone who has been in your shoes and can help guide you and give you a playbook or the blueprint to make it happen.

Speaker 1:

I really appreciate you being here. I hope that you found this episode helpful. Please bookmark it, save it, come back to it. This is important work. In fact, the most important work is the work you do for yourself, on yourself, because that is how you make the world a better place. You make the world a better place by making yourself a better being. Thank you so much for being here. I really hope you enjoyed this show. It's the beginning of Q2 2025. And if the first quarter didn't go the way you were hoping, then it's time to reassess. It's time to get gritty and answer these questions and get real with yourself and start making change, because tomorrow is not promised. Check the show notes. If you need help, you can reach out. I'm here for you, as always. Thank you for being here and I'll catch you on the next episode. Take care.