Unbreakable Mind & Body

A Procrastination Reckoning

• Tiana Gonzalez • Episode 11

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Have you ever found yourself avoiding something so persistently that it takes on a life of its own? That's exactly where I found myself with a seemingly innocent stack of papers from my former business, Fit by Tiana, piled high in the corner of my desk—a physical manifestation of emotional loose ends I wasn't ready to tie up.

When I finally committed to tackling this dreaded paperwork, breaking it down year by year and methodically working through it, I discovered something profound: the monster I'd built up in my mind was actually quite manageable. 

I reconnected with a vital truth: the things we avoid most desperately are precisely the things we need to address for growth. True transformation doesn't happen when we reject parts of ourselves or our past, but when we learn to integrate who we were with who we're becoming. 

What are you avoiding right now that might hold the key to your next breakthrough? 

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Disclaimer: This show is for education and entertainment purposes only. This is not intended as a replacement for therapy. Please seek out the help of a professional to assist you with your specific situation.


Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body podcast. I am your host, tiana Gonzalez, a multi-passionate, creative storyteller and entrepreneur with a fierce love for movement. This is our space for powerful stories and actionable strategies to help you build mental resilience and elevate your self-care practice. Together, we will unlock the tools that you need to create an unbreakable mind and body.

Speaker 2:

Welcome back to the show. This is Tiana, and I want to say thank you for tuning in. We're going to talk about avoidance and a valuable lesson that procrastination has taught me time and time and time and time again. Before we get into the show, I do want to remind you that if you want to be a part of my world, you can join my newsletter. Check the show notes for details on how to do that. There's going to be a lot of exciting stuff rolling out over the next couple of weeks and months and I'd love to have you join my community, be a part of my world, get some behind the scenes juicy stuff and learn more about what's going on with Unbreakable. So let's get into the show.

Speaker 2:

I have to admit something to you. While I am a pretty tidy person and I try to keep my house clean and neat I try to keep things orderly I also am big on clearing away clutter and getting rid of the old to make space for the new, both mentally and emotionally and physically in my space. I am guilty of having a little bit of organized chaos in my life. I had a stack of papers piled up on the corner of my desk, stack of papers piled up on the corner of my desk. Now, these were things connected to Fit by Tiana. It was off to the side on my desk left-hand side, tucked in the corner, and it started out small and then it just kept piling up and piling up and piling up. Now, truth be told, I knew I had to address these papers and the files on my computer and the files in my desk drawer and get things more organized. You have to clear away clutter to make space for new, but for some reason, I was holding onto this stuff.

Speaker 2:

At the beginning of this year 2025, I committed, I recommitted to sorting out the loose ends, getting my shit together, doing the things I didn't really want to do, regardless of how uncomfortable it was, because I knew that this was the year that I was really going to soar. This is the year really going to soar. This is the year. It's not Fit by Tiana. She's sleeping. It's me, tiana Gonzalez. It's the person, it's the woman. I love the work that I do and I'm excited to do more. So I had this plan Okay, we got to get through these papers. We got to get through this shit because we need to just close the loop and move on. Turn the page. Next chapter, right, I'm doing the podcast. So this is new.

Speaker 2:

I hired a mentor, so I'm doing the work inside of her container, both mindset, spirituality, heart and then also strategy, because eventually I will promote something new. I just don't know what it is yet. And then I also am working full-time in person and training and I'm going through hormonal stuff. You know it pains me to say it. I'm in my late 40s now. I'm going to be 47 at the time of this recording. I'm currently 46. I don't want to make myself any older and, quite frankly, the number doesn't matter. It's, you know, the character that I've built over that time.

Speaker 2:

But I'm going through changes, stuff that women go through, you know I will not bore you with the details, but, um, it's been challenging and I'm crazy. I'm crazy about my health and wellness. I am, you know, my mom is a brain cancer survivor, my dad has Parkinson's and I am a firm believer that part of the reason why I have managed to stay as healthy as I have is because I started lifting weights when I was in high school. I started and I never stopped. It became a part of who I am from the beginning. I've never stopped and then had to start. I have had a gym membership since 1996, sometimes multiple memberships 96, sometimes multiple memberships. So going through all of these new things, it's been a lot, it's been emotionally taxing, but I made a commitment. So the podcast leaves me a bit vulnerable because I'm sharing a lot of personal stories with you and I need someone to kind of take care of me and hold space for me and tell me it's going to be okay and that's what my mentor is doing for me.

Speaker 2:

And then I also knew that that would help me prepare myself to dive into the things that I've been avoiding with all of that paperwork and the files. And after a really cool, transformative experience, we had a group call on Friday and I felt really good. The energy on the call was amazing, and so I was able to take that high vibe and I said, okay, I'm just going to tackle one thing at a time. So I decided to break everything up by year. I had client files and loose ends from 2022, then 2023, and, of course, 2024. Now I dissolved the LLC in 2024. So there really wasn't a whole lot I needed to do there. But 2022 was a hot mess and that was the hardest one.

Speaker 2:

And when I tell you how amazing it felt, saturday night finished the first bundle, sunday night, the second, monday night, the third, you best believe. I crashed on Tuesday and what happened was I realized how good I felt, even though I was tired, how good I felt and that the shit I was avoiding it really wasn't that bad. It really wasn't. I was making it so much worse than it really was and I know that some of my clients listening are going to say there's no way. That's not you, that is so. Unlike you, you're always challenging me. You're always telling me to go heavier. You're always telling me to do the thing I don't want to do. You're always telling me to face the music. And yet here I was avoiding it. But there's another layer, there's something else, because the same time that I decided, okay, we're going to go all in on this, we're going to get this paperwork sorted out, and we did it, it's done.

Speaker 2:

I also committed, or recommitted, to focusing on recovery and restoration Physical. So I got a massage, I'm going to do more body work, a little bit of cupping, a little bit of foam rolling, a little more cryo, just whatever I can do to start breaking up all the tight areas of the body and guess what? You know what else is trapped in those muscle tissues and underneath the skin and in the fascia. There's trauma in there, there's stored emotions in there, there's shit I've been hiding, there's figurative stacks of paper that I have been piling up and collecting dust for years because I have been neglecting the recovery aspect of my lifestyle. So I'm kind of tired, but it feels really good at the same time Because again, I knew if I get a massage it's going to be horrible the first time, and I know that one massage is not going to cut it.

Speaker 2:

I need to make it a part of my practice. I need to make this a more routine thing, because a little bit of foam rolling that I do is just to keep me going in between. It's not the same as getting a deep tissue, focused massage by a licensed massage therapist. By the way, the woman that I am seeing it's near impossible to get an appointment with her, but she's amazing and she went right for all the spots that I did not want her to touch. It was quite entertaining actually, because I was cursing her out. I almost jumped off the table and at one point actually probably more than one point. She had to jump and, like, put her hip on me so that I couldn't move, while she was pressing into certain parts of my feet and my ankles and my neck oh my goodness, and I felt hungover after that too.

Speaker 2:

So I've been giving my body a lot to deal with, a lot to go through, a lot to face, and I know that I can handle it all, and I know that on the other side of all this, it's going to be amazing. So I'm sharing all this because it's a testament to things I say on my social media platforms all the time, things I say to my in-person clients every day. The thing that you're avoiding is the very thing you need to be doing. The thing that you're avoiding is the very thing you probably need to be doing, because it's in that work that you're going to uncover some stuff that you need to clear, that you need to sit with, that you need to hold space for One of the mistakes I was making up until about three years ago.

Speaker 2:

I did a virtual therapy session with a qualified therapist and I found her in a Facebook group that we were both part of and I really enjoyed her personality. You know, in the posts, her commentary and things she posted on her profile. So I reached out to her, I asked her if we could do a one-off session, and during this session we started to talk about my inner child and the versions of me from my past. And something that she brought up was it's brave of you that you're facing these parts of you, that you're owning things, that you're accepting that you did the best you could at the time with the tools that you had at your disposal. But there's something that I think we should work on, and it's to stop the shame, to stop the guilt, and to accept the old versions of you while still working towards the new.

Speaker 2:

You'll hear me talk about this a lot on many episodes the in-between space, the integration. We're never going to fully leave who we once were, nor should we, because that young person was brave and that young person, that young person was brave and that young person, that younger version of you, got you here. You should be grateful for what they decided to put you through, to get you to the point you're at now, but there's parts of them that can no longer come with you to the next level, and so we have to find a way to integrate who you were with who you're going to be. We have to find a way to integrate who you were with who you're going to be, and that's a piece that I was avoiding for a long time. I always felt like it was either one or the other. It was this young girl that chose to go to the clubs and party on the weekends. It was the young girl who chose to do bodybuilding shows and hang out with the misfits and the freaks at the gym. And then there was also the professional version of me that worked in financial institutions and had a team of 40 people that she was leading. But she's both. She always was both, she always will be both, and then some.

Speaker 2:

So stop avoiding the thing that you're avoiding. I want you to think about what it is that you're avoiding and why, because it's literally through the work you do there that you're going to find the transformative experience you're looking for. It's right there. It's right there in front of you. I'm going to leave it there and I want to tell you you're so much stronger than you know, you're so much braver than you give yourself credit for, and you will be a victor. You will overcome that shit you're dealing with and you will make it, I know it. If you enjoyed this show, please follow along. You can hit that subscribe button, hit that follow button so you get notifications when a new episode comes out. And, as always, I appreciate you and I'll see you on the next one, take care.