Unbreakable Mind & Body

The Paradox of Discipline: Why Structure Sets You Free

• Tiana Gonzalez • Episode 15

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Discipline – a word often associated with restriction and limitation – actually unlocks profound emotional freedom when properly understood and applied. Drawing from personal experiences in bodybuilding, professional transitions, and even while traveling, I explore how initial discipline transforms into liberating habits that enhance rather than constrain our lives.

This transformation from discipline to habit creates the foundation for emotional freedom. When I worked a demanding job with an unpredictable commute, meal prepping habits eliminated decision fatigue, saved money, and maintained my health despite challenging circumstances. 

Similarly, when traveling, having protein powder shipped ahead, bringing my coffee setup, or finding accommodations with kitchens aren't signs of restriction but strategies that allow me to be fully present and engaged. The freedom comes from addressing physical needs proactively so I can focus on experiences rather than discomfort.

The key insight? Do the work upfront so your future self can thrive without unnecessary struggle. Discipline isn't about limitation – it's preparation for freedom. 

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Disclaimer: This show is for education and entertainment purposes only. This is not intended as a replacement for therapy. Please seek out the help of a professional to assist you with your specific situation.


Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body podcast. I am your host, tiana Gonzalez, a multi-passionate, creative storyteller and entrepreneur with a fierce love for movement. This is our space for powerful stories and actionable strategies to help you build mental resilience and elevate your self-care practice. Together, we will unlock the tools that you need to create an unbreakable mind and body.

Speaker 2:

Welcome back to the show. I am your host, tiana, and on this episode I am going to share with you my beliefs around how discipline and focus can create emotional freedom in your life. Now I'm just getting back from being away out of pocket in the woods of Tennessee for a week in the woods of Tennessee for a week. It is a riveting experience that I immerse myself in with like-minded individuals that are focused on various skills of fitness and becoming better, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. For most of the staff, we've been there before, so it's a reconnection with our friends, who we probably hadn't seen since the previous camp. And for the campers, some of them are returning campers and some of them are new, and so it's this amazing experience, and I will tell you that, as amazing as it is, I am also very happy to be back home and to be back into my groove and into my routine. Now, when I travel, I will tell you I typically do a ton of work upfront, and that is because, in order for me to be my best self, to be present and in the moment and to be open to all of the various experiences that I am putting myself into while I'm traveling. There are a couple of things that I need as my baseline in order to make sure that I am the best taken care of, the best equipped, the most relaxed and that I feel great. And some of those things may sound crazy to other people who work very diligently so that they can completely let things go while they're on vacation. But before I get into what those nuanced things are and what those very specific things are, I first want to explain a little bit more to you about discipline and focus and how.

Speaker 2:

In the beginning. Yeah, when you're on an endeavor let's say you are in a sport or you're trying to lose weight let's make it real simple. Let's make it a simple weight loss goal. Or you're trying to lose weight, let's make it real simple. Let's make it a simple weight loss goal. You're trying to lose weight and you're somebody who doesn't go to the gym. Well then, obviously, the first thing that's going to have to change in your life is you're going to have to come up with a gym that you enjoy going to and the number of times you're going to go there per week. From there, with the help of a qualified professional like a personal trainer or a coach, you can then work backwards to figure out a program that's going to be the right dose for you.

Speaker 2:

Now, if this is completely new to you, then, yeah, it's going to be a fucking grind in the beginning, because this is new. These are changes that maybe you're not naturally inclined to start making. But either you've had a wake-up call, you've had a health scare, or you're realizing that you want to feel better as you age, and the gateway to a healthy and thriving older age and longevity place is through working out, more specifically through lifting weights. But I'm not going to nitpick here. So if you're somebody who doesn't move at all, then I'm encouraging you to find that thing that you enjoy doing, that you feel like you can play and you're still moving and getting a nice flow, getting your heart rate up, sweating, moving around, and then start from there. Where things change is when you find those things that you enjoy and you have the right dose of what you need and what you want, and those two things come together, it becomes routine. And once something becomes your routine, it's not as much of a grind, it doesn't feel as difficult as it did on the first day. So that's when it becomes more habitual and you can be more consistent. This is similar to a lot of the day-to-day tasks that you participate in that are just second nature for you now, but at one point in time probably when you were much younger or when you were a little kid let's say, learning how to tie your shoes or brush your teeth those were things that you had to learn. Now it's not always about things that you learn as a kid, because I work with a ton of amazing adults who are new to certain components or certain aspects of weight training, watching their nutrition and working on a very specific goal with me.

Speaker 2:

One of my clients is actually after taking a sabbatical. She's going to be returning to the workforce. She's starting a new job in about two months and we've been talking a lot throughout all of our sessions, ramping up, gearing up, mentally, preparing her, because I knew that this day was coming soon. When she told me she was interviewing, I said all right, well, we've got to get you to a place where you're not relying on me as much. Now this person sees me twice a week in the gym and I am definitely going to miss her. I'm hoping that we can at least meet once in person and then I could write her program for her for the other days that she's going to be working out on her own. Now, even in the language I'm using when I meet with her, I'm not giving her the option. I'm saying when you're commuting and you're going to go to that other location that the same company has but it's closer to your job, these are the things that we're going to do, so it will be more of a virtual relationship. I won't be there physically with you, but you're still going to follow the things that I tell you to do. And as I'm repeating this language over and, over and over, I'm talking about over the course of the last few months it's become ingrained in her and it's now a part of her intentions for when she starts this new job.

Speaker 2:

This is someone with an autoimmune who did not work out consistently until probably about seven months ago when we met and she decided I need to take better control and work with a qualified professional to get my body into a certain place, to feel stronger and to prevent another autoimmune flare-up. To prevent another autoimmune flare-up. So during our session today now, I told you I just got back from being away at camp so I hadn't seen her. She had homework to do while I was out, and today we met up for the first time in over a week and she fills me in on everything, and then she says okay, here are a list of a few things that I want to focus on as we are ramping up before I start the new job, and then, once my schedule changes, we'll just keep it going. Ladies and gentlemen, I tried not to overreact in that moment, but the amount of pride that I felt.

Speaker 2:

This is a person that I had to twist her arm to try protein powder. When we first started working together, she was so skeptical after hearing a lot of fear mongering and seeing different articles whether they were actual publications, medical publications or just fake news or from AI but she had heard various things about consuming too much protein and how it could be damaging, and so we went through this whole conversation, and it took me a while to get her to buy in, for her to show up at the session today with a list of three things that she thought of on her own. These were not prompted, these were not provoked. These were her ideas that she came to me with and said this is what I want to focus on for the next two months before I start my new full-time job, and then these are the things that we're going to continue to focus on once I start the job. That's amazing. So where am I going with this whole story? Well, this goes back to having discipline.

Speaker 2:

It's going to be a challenge for her to go back to work full-time as is. She has two kids, she has a partner, she has responsibilities in the home, she has other family obligations and now everybody's kind of gotten used to her being home. She's going to make a switch up. She's going back to work full-time and she has a bit of a commute. She's going back to work full time and she has a bit of a commute. So she's got to prepare everyone at home and I've got to get her prepared. And one of the things that I think is just so incredible about this transformation is the mindset she went from me having to convince her to take protein powder to. I want to complete these things and work on them and make a commitment, and I'm going to keep the items that she had listed out private because obviously I have to protect my clients and their you know their experiences. But the moral of the story is three bullet items. I tried not to overreact in the moment and I was so proud of her and so excited that she came to me and said these are what I want to work on over the next two months.

Speaker 2:

Now, in the beginning she's going to have to use a lot of discipline because these are new for her. There are things we've talked about, there are things she's heard me say, there's things that there was things on this list that she knows are paramount for her to be successful with her health journey, with thriving as she gets older and with feeling good in this new role where she's in a leadership position and she's working in a very niche industry in the medical field. And so, yeah, in the beginning it's going to be really hard. She's going to have to lean in on that discipline and do things on days she doesn't want to and get ahead of the things. So when we're talking about health and wellness goals, discipline is required in the beginning because these are new things.

Speaker 2:

For example, if you're someone who eats out often and you really want to get a hold of your health, then it would behoove you to learn how to cook and to cook at home at least 50%, if not 75%, of your meals, especially if you're someone who eats out often. Now to do that and to do it successfully and to do it efficiently. Well, now we can talk about food preparation, which is a little bit different than just preparing your lunch when you're ready to eat it, and preparing your dinner Like this is like you know the old days, when I was a kid in the eighties. Everything was freshly made on the stove right before you ate it. Rarely did you have leftovers. So she's going to have to learn all of these things and eventually it will become second nature.

Speaker 2:

This type of thing helped me out many times, particularly the last time that I went into a full-time, nine to five type of role in the construction industry at the beginning of 2023. I bought a new, cooler bag. I got new containers and I remember leaning on my old bodybuilding lifestyle habits prepping my food one day a week lifestyle habits Prepping my food one day a week, weighing my portions, packing it out ahead of time. So in my refrigerator, when you would open it, there would be several containers that had things such as a lean protein, a complex carbohydrate and a vegetable already weighed out and ready to go, sometimes with post-its on it that said exactly what was in there. This way, it took the guessing work out of it when it was time for me to eat and it would save me time each morning because I had a grueling commute to JFK International Airport which was sometimes 45 minutes and sometimes two hours.

Speaker 2:

For some people that I worked with. They would say things like wow, you have so much discipline to pack your food every day, to cook like two nights a week or one weekend day, and then another day in the middle of the week. You have so much discipline, you're so focused. For me it didn't feel like I needed discipline or I had discipline. These were habits, these were things I was already doing. I just needed to revisit it and it saved my ass, because you probably are aware that most airport food is absurdly expensive and very poor quality, very low quality. So I spared my waistline and my wallet by bringing my own food every single day. I could count on one hand how many times I did not bring my lunch with me and I suffered on those days.

Speaker 2:

Now, another example where having discipline from my bodybuilding days really helped to support me in thriving this is what I was talking about at the beginning of this episode is when I travel. Being away at camp is a good example. We are supported. We are. Our food is prepared for us by this incredible company. The food is delicious, but it's not necessarily the kind of food I would make at home. Not all of the food. Some of it, yes, a lot of it, no, and that's neither good nor bad. It's a neutral. Also, the cafeteria mealtimes are not the same as when I eat on my own schedule when I'm home.

Speaker 2:

So I learned after my first camp, after my second camp, some little nuanced things that I could do myself to make myself have a better experience, to keep my energy more even throughout the day, so that I wouldn't feel a sudden crash or these crazy hunger cues that could also make me irritable and unpleasant to be around. I have my little tricks. For example, I would have protein powder shipped to the camp ahead of the time. I also brought my own coffee and a French press from home. I am very much a coffee lover. I only have it once a day, but it needs to be something that really touches my soul. The other thing that I do is I will sometimes take food from breakfast and wrap it, bring it back to my room. We had a mini fridge and I would save it for in between the meals so that I wouldn't crash or that I wouldn't be starving or I wouldn't overeat at the next opportunity when we had meal again. These are things that I just learned over time. To an outsider they might say, wow, you're so disciplined. To me it's a habit. It feels a little bit like home. It gives me a little more autonomy and control and therefore I'm nicer, and when I'm nicer, everyone around me has a better experience, because that's just the way it is.

Speaker 2:

When I travel other places, I prefer to find a place that has a kitchen so that I could either go grocery shopping or have a grocery delivery service brought to the room. I love to just do my own thing with breakfast you already know about the coffee and also sometimes lunch. Again, it's about making sure that I feel good so that I can then be present and engaged and energized and not stressed. I have a sensitive stomach, so I want to make sure that I'm eating things that make me feel good and that fuel my lifestyle. The other thing I do most vacations is find a local gym, try to get a week pass or a weekend pass, make sure that I can get some movement in. And yeah, if you go somewhere warm, you could run outside or go to the beach. But I like my strength training and I like to try to hit the gym at least a few times, if not every day, to make sure that I'm staying on track. Again, this is my happy place. This is where I unplug, this is where I de-stress and it makes me feel good.

Speaker 2:

So, people, having discipline, it's really just about what's important to you or to that person and how you're going to navigate that. There is a fine line between having discipline, or maintaining your habits, and being a bit obsessive, and it's case by case and it's individual by individual. It's not fair for me to judge anyone else and it's not fair for you to judge anyone else or for anyone else to judge you. So when you're starting something new, it's going to feel like a grind, but doing it consistently, doing it even on the days when you don't want to doing it repeatedly, you're creating a better experience for the future version of you. So when you think about it that way and you do something upfront, you do the work upfront so that future you can have an easier life.

Speaker 2:

That's the discipline, that's the focus and that's the habit. You do the work upfront so you have the freedom down the discipline. That's the focus and that's the habit. You do the work up front so you have the freedom down the road. If you enjoyed this episode, please do me a solid and follow the show so that you can get notified when the next episode is published. I appreciate your time and attention. I hope you found this helpful and, as always, I'll see you on the next one.