Unbreakable Mind & Body
Welcome to The Unbreakable Mind & Body podcast with host, Tiana Gonzalez—a multi-passionate creative, storyteller, and entrepreneur with a fierce love for movement. This is our space for powerful stories and actionable strategies to help you build mental resilience and elevate your self-care practice. Together, we’ll unlock the tools you need to create an unbreakable mind and body.
Unbreakable Mind & Body
Scars Tell Stories of Brave Moments
The most transformative moments in life often begin with taking a risk, stepping into uncertainty, and embracing the possibility of both success and failure. Today's episode dives deep into the physical and emotional "scars" these risks leave behind—and why they're worth celebrating rather than hiding.
Looking down at the stretch marks on my inner thighs one morning, I found myself reflecting on my journey as a former professional bodybuilder who experienced dramatic physical transformations throughout my career. Our bodies tell stories through their "imperfections," whether it's stretch marks from weight fluctuations, scars from childhood accidents, or the visible marks left by life's challenges.
For anyone standing at a crossroads, wondering whether to take that leap, I share five essential questions to guide your decision-making process. Sometimes the scariest risks yield the most unexpected rewards.
Whether you're contemplating a difficult conversation, career change, health journey, or simply putting yourself out there in a new way, this episode offers both practical guidance and emotional reassurance.
Need some help with your Fitness Mindset? Download my free 5-minute pre-workout mindset ritual (link in show notes) to apply these principles to your fitness journey!
Connect with Me
Instagram: www.instagram.com/tianasmindandmoves
Website: unbreakablemindandbody.com
Email: info@unbreakablemb.com
Download your Free 5-Min Pre-Workout Guide:
https://tiana-gonzalez.mykajabi.com/likeyoumeanit
Disclaimer: This show is for education and entertainment purposes only. This is not intended as a replacement for therapy. Please seek out the help of a professional to assist you with your specific situation.
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body podcast. I am your host, tiana Gonzalez, a multi-passionate, creative storyteller and entrepreneur with a fierce love for movement. This is our space for powerful stories and actionable strategies to help you build mental resilience and elevate your self-care practice. Together, we will unlock the tools that you need to create an unbreakable mind and body. Welcome back to the show. I am your host, tiana, and on this episode, we're going to talk about all things regarding risk sometimes the scars that they leave behind when you take a risk and I will have five questions for you to sit with, contemplate, potentially journal on, so that you can get clarity and then decide if there's something you want to move forward with and potentially take a risk on.
Speaker 1:Now, I typically record my episodes on Fridays and I also check in with my personal trainer and coach on Fridays, so usually my Friday morning is an easy wake up. I don't set the alarm, I kind of just roll over, wake up whenever, naturally which is a beautiful thing for me and I will have my coffee. I usually get on the scale on a day that I'm going to check in with my trainer and then we take photos for progress. And then we take photos for progress, share some updates. Then I contemplate the topic if I don't have one already for this show and write out my notes for an outline. This way this kind of keeps the show flowing and I'm not sitting here with these long pauses or having to do a lot of editing post-record. Now it's kind of a mixture of things, because I'm relaxing, sometimes I do a little bit of EFT tapping, sometimes I talk to myself and then think about what I want to share with you, what's important, what's top of mind, what's going on, how can I help, how can I be of service to you, and I kind of take it easy with it. I don't sit with the pen and paper and pressure myself, because that is so completely unnatural and it goes against everything I believe in. If you've listened to the show before, you know that I firmly believe that the most valuable time is when you are not doing anything. It's when you're calm, it's when you're relaxed, it's when you're in a state of ease that things will flow to you, that thoughts will make sense, that you will come to conclusions that you were trying to force in a time of stress. So I wrote out a few notes, I put on my bikini, I set up my camera where I get great natural light. Same couple of poses, front side, back side. I actually did two sets of photos today because I wore two different suits and it's incredible I'm going on a tangent right now. It's incredible to observe how different the physique can look based on the cut of the bikini or the suit and the color. So I was sipping my coffee after taking the photos, I still had one of the bikinis on. I'm in my desk chair, I've got my notes from the outline I drew up minutes prior for this episode and I look down at my legs and I can see stretch marks on my inner thighs. Marks on my inner thighs and stretch marks used to be the bane of my existence.
Speaker 1:As a retired professional bodybuilder, I am very familiar with the human body, fluctuating in shape and size and me personally, my own health journey as an adult. I've gone through periods where I was very lean and small in size because I was pre-contest and getting ready for a bodybuilding show, and then I've also experienced where I was significantly heavier on the scale and a few sizes up, in fact, at one of my friend's weddings. It was a period of time where I was going through a lot with my health. It was about a year and change after I had turned professional in bodybuilding and I had gained a significant amount of weight, not because I was being reckless or careless, not because I fell off in any sort of fashion, but I had a laundry list of health issues particularly related to my liver, my kidneys, my thyroid and also my reproductive system. So I'm not going to go into that right now. But, as you can imagine, I was dealing with a lot and there was also a lot of stress in the life and I remember the dress that I wore to her wedding was a size 14. I'm five foot one in height, so I was accustomed to being significantly smaller in size. You know, size is a really interesting topic because at least in the generation that I grew up in, in the 80s and early 90s, you know, skinny was the thing, having a flat butt and big boobs. That was in the late 90s. Things started to evolve. A couple of particular celebrities made a big splash into the scene and really introduced more curvy shape and it became more generally accepted.
Speaker 1:So there's been a lot about size and women having stretch marks and this perfection and this ideal. But where am I going with all this? So I want to bring it back to risk, because the stretch marks served as a gentle reminder of periods of time in my life where I took risks. I took risks with my health in particular. I took risks in my life to put myself in an uncomfortable situation and to get on stage in front of hundreds, if not thousands, of people to get a trophy and to win a title, and I am proud of the person that did all of that an old version of myself and I'm proud of myself today.
Speaker 1:So when I look down at these stretch marks, they're not the most beautiful thing in the world. I don't love them and depending on how I'm sitting, they're accentuated. What's interesting is I've been laying out in the sun a little bit and when you're more tan, the stretch marks at least the ones I have look worse. So now they're accentuated even more. But instead of allowing it to really bother me and instead of looking up something, a product or some type of massage or treatment to remove them, I looked down at these stretch marks today with a little bit of pride and I said wow, remember when. Remember when you were so much heavier and uncomfortable in your own skin and you still stepped out into the world, and what got you into that position was taking risks prior to that. So it was risky to go through the process, to get lean, to get on stage, to be judged and to earn a status, a title, a trophy a status, a title, a trophy. And it was also risky afterwards. And the thing is that these risks and these stretch marks that serve as a reminder of those risks taught me so many valuable lessons little gems, golden nuggets, if you will.
Speaker 1:Stretch marks remind me of scars. Now, if we're talking about scars, I'm sure you may have one or two or many on your body. Some of them will serve as reminders of things that you chose. Some of them are reminders of things that happened to you or happened for you. It really depends on your perspective and how you choose to see that incident, topic, event or thing, but scars can also be gentle reminders of how brave you were at a certain point in your life.
Speaker 1:And so I have a scar on my face. It's from the chicken pox. I got the chicken pox when I was in the third grade and the first little mark or pock, if you will, or blister showed up the day before we were supposed to have our school play and I remember I was the lead in the play and unfortunately the understudy got to star in the show because I was sick with the chickenpox. That was pretty disappointing. But I have this one scar because, of course, I was a kid and I was scratching even though you're not supposed to and I have one scar on my cheek, on my face. It's small now, but every time I see it, which is every day I remember how, when I was in the third grade, I got really sick the day before I was supposed to start in the school play, was supposed to start in the school play, and that's a gentle reminder. I want you to look at some of the scars on your body and maybe offer yourself a different perspective.
Speaker 1:Now, what do I think about scars and stretch marks and imperfections and risk? Well, sometimes when you take a risk, you fail, or do you? Sometimes, when you take a risk, it doesn't work out the way you intended, but it works out maybe even better. So if you're finding yourself at a crossroads and you're not sure if you want to take that risk, whatever it is could be in your love life, could be with your health and wellness journey could be in your career. I have a few questions that you can ask yourself Now. Maybe you want to press pause, grab a pen and paper or notebook or just open the notes app on your phone so you can write these questions down as we're talking through it. But the first question I would suggest you ask yourself is what is my end game? What's the end game? You're about to embark on something new. You're contemplating maybe having that uncomfortable conversation with that person that you love so dearly, but you've been feeling a little bit of grit, a little bit of resistance there. What is the best outcome possible from having that uncomfortable conversation or taking that risk? So this is where visualization can help you.
Speaker 1:Now, if you've listened to previous episodes, you know that there is a difference, in my opinion, between visualization and manifesting. In comparison to daydreaming. Visualization and manifesting, you are putting some effort and work into accomplishing something, into accomplishing something. Daydreaming is a little bit more of like a fantasy world. Now, they do overlap and they are very similar is nuanced in the differences. However, if you are a manifester, if you have worked with the law of attraction, then you know there is a huge difference. Now you want to think about what the best possible outcome is. You want to make sure you know what your end game is, because, let's say, you're feeling differences with one of your best friends and you're about to ask them an uncomfortable question.
Speaker 1:The first thing they may be wondering is why are you bringing this up, or why are you asking me that? So it would be good to have clarity on what it is you're looking to accomplish. You're not forcing the conversation in a certain direction, you're not influencing the other party, but you know in your mind what you would like to see happen, and hopefully this makes sense. Now the second question I have if I don't step forward or if I don't take that risk, will it hurt me or eat me up inside? Now, only you can answer this question for yourself. I work in fitness. The fitness industry is full of a lot of snake oil, a lot of quote unquote opportunities, a lot of things that have potential to generate income, potential to build your network, potential to give you more visibility, a bigger platform, a louder voice, more clients, which should all translate into more money coming in, more revenue. However, a lot of times, things are framed that way but they don't actually come to fruition. So that's where a risk may not be worth it.
Speaker 1:Now, if you're thinking about having a conversation with somebody or pursuing a hobby or an interest that really excites you, what would happen if you don't move forward? What would happen if you don't take that risk? Is it going to eat you alive? Are you going to be ruminating or dwelling on it day in, day out? Are you going to be at home wondering what if? Question number three is this the right time? So if you don't step forward but it's the right time you might miss this opportunity. You might miss the chance to take that specific risk, the chance to take that specific risk, and there's something to be said for calculated risk. However, there's also something to be said for hiding behind planning and preparation.
Speaker 1:Episode 24, I talk about the champion mindset and how you have to get out of the anticipation phase, and that's what I'm referring to now. If it's not the right time, when will it be the right time? Because if it's just whenever you're going to be stuck in this anticipation phase, you're going to be going from manifesting and taking action into daydreaming. Do you see how that's slightly different? I hope that you do so. If not now, then when? That's question four. If not now, then when? Because you owe it to yourself. You owe it to yourself to take a risk. You owe it to yourself to pursue that thing.
Speaker 1:If you find yourself waking up every day or going to bed every night and you can't get your mind off of this particular thing or this conversation, or this interest, or this hobby, or this career path or this education, whatever it is, if you can't get your mind off of it, someone's trying to tell you something, someone out there is trying to nudge you and say, hey, you really need to look at this Now. I believe that there are no mistakes. There is no such thing as coincidence, and I also believe that it's not about things, people places, opportunities being aligned with you. It's about you getting into alignment with who you are authentically, who's your most true self. When you're that, that's when the right things come forward, that's when those ideal opportunities present themselves. That's when that surprise shows up. Now, question number five if not now, and I'm not sure when, how will I know when?
Speaker 1:It's scary to be the first one to go. It's scary to put yourself out there. And please do not misunderstand me yeah, it's frightening to take a risk, especially when you have people that are depending on you. If you have a family where you take care of someone, you're a provider and you're about to take a risk in your career, or you're about to take on something else which is going to take away your time but potentially bring in more revenue or more income. Those are risks, or more income, those are risks. And if you don't have someone who you can emulate, if you don't have a mentor or a leader to follow, then you're just going out there on your own and it is super scary to be the first one to go. But what's going to happen if you don't? How many days are you going to go to bed at night wondering if maybe your life will be different tomorrow? But it's not going to be if you don't take action, if you don't take the risk. Action, if you don't take the risk.
Speaker 1:I was thinking about being young and growing up, and there was a period of time in my when I was a tween I should say I wasn't a teen and I wasn't a little kid either. I was about 12, right after my dad went to prison and we moved to the Bronx. Now, now, my cousin. I have a cousin who's one year older than me and he had a birthday party, so I guess it was his 14th birthday party. I was still 12, but I was turning 13 later that year, so this was in 1991. So I was at this party and of course there were adults there. It wasn't just a bunch of kids, but you know, there was a bunch of kids in the living room. There was a DJ playing records and nobody was really dancing yet. And I remember it's crazy because I thought I forgot about this until earlier today and I remember some song came on and I couldn't take it anymore. So there was a room full of kids, most of them were a little bit older than me. I didn't know anybody except my cousins and one or two friends. And I'm just in the living room and I start dancing, not realizing that I didn't know, like the code, if you will, but these kids, if you started dancing behind someone, like someone had their back to you and you started dancing. That was considered a challenge. So I unknowingly set off a challenge with this girl and of course it was the scariest thing that ever happened, because I was, you know, at the time. It was the scariest thing that ever happened, because I was only about 12, going on 13.
Speaker 1:I'm with all these kids. I'm trying to be cool, I'm trying to act cool. I wasn't from the Bronx. I wasn't born and raised. I moved to the Bronx. I was a suburb girl. I moved to the Bronx for a few years, so I'm trying to play it cool. I look like a white girl and in fact in school the kids used to call me blondie. I got made fun of a lot for not being Puerto Rican enough. Quote unquote. That's another topic for another episode.
Speaker 1:But I remember I guess I was trying. I was trying hard to fit in, trying hard to be accepted. I wanted to be accepted. Plus, there was older kids there, there was cute boys. You know, I was like just going through puberty, so the hormones were flying everywhere.
Speaker 1:And I remember I start dancing, just totally innocent, I just couldn't help myself. I start dancing and it took so much courage for me to do that anyway, because I was in a room full of all these kids that I didn't know and this girl turns around and she was like what? And she starts battling me and I just stand there frozen. I have no idea what's going on, a circle forms around us and I'm standing there dumbfounded, I walk, I run out, I don't walk out, I run out, I go to the bathroom, I am fighting tears and I'm like what the hell just happened? Like I'm trying to make friends, not enemies, I did something and inadvertently caused a riot you know, a dance riot, if you will. And when I come out, my cousin's like what happened? Where'd you go? And I was like those girls, I embarrassed myself, I didn't mean to. And he's like relax, you're just dancing. He said they're not going to tell you. And he's like but as soon as you walked out, they started copying your dance moves. So when you're 12 or 13 years old, that's a big deal, right. And I just remember if I had not started dancing, nobody would have been dancing because people were kind of waiting for somebody else to set it off. And yeah, I was the first one to go and it was super scary. I thought it backfired and then later on I just did my thing and tried not to dance like right behind someone. It was a small, you know, a living room in an apartment. So if there's a bunch of kids in there, it's not going to take much for somebody to feel like I'm dancing behind them. But here I was.
Speaker 1:So if I take that story and I plug in these questions into this example, that little, somewhat innocent 12-year-old me found herself in what was my endgame? Well, my endgame was to move my body, to express myself and to get other people dancing. I wanted more dancing. That was the best possible outcome. If I didn't step forward at that time, what would have been the risk? It probably would have eaten me up inside, up inside, and that's the whole point of it all. Take the risk. If it's eating you up inside, it means you need to do something about it. If it's impacting you, you need to do something about it.
Speaker 1:Now, if I look at question number three, is it the right time? It probably wasn't the right time. Maybe it was just a little too soon, too early. You know, I should have let the vibe develop a little bit more on the dance floor. And as I got older and I got into more like the club scene and I started working in the club scene as a dancer side note, in 1998, I used to work as a dancer in a club in Connecticut was a lot of fun. I started to learn about. You know you got to build up the energy and then like, slowly but surely, let people organically start dancing instead of just being out there like a performer. And what I learned from that is how to read the room a little bit better and if not at that particular moment, will I know when? And I can confidently say now yeah, I'll know when. So there was a risk and I took it and maybe if I had known how to read the room a little better, engage the temperature better and understand myself better, engage the temperature better and understand myself better, understand the environment better, I would have known when.
Speaker 1:Again, if you find yourself thinking about something that's on your heart, in your head, you can't stop thinking about it. You want to take action? Here's some questions for you. Let's run through these again so I can just tie thinking about it. You want to take action? Here's some questions for you. Let's run through these again so I can just tie it all together. What's my end game? What's the best possible outcome? If I don't step forward or take that risk, will it hurt me or will it eat me up inside? Is this the right time? If it's not the right time, then when will it be the right time and how will I know when? Thank you so much for your time and attention.
Speaker 1:It has been such a life-changing experience for me personally to share my stories with you on this show. I love when people randomly stop me at places and say they've been listening to the show and they found this episode helpful or that episode helpful. That really means a lot. It's scary to be the first one to go. It's scary to put yourself out there. It's scary to take risks and to know that you might have some scars left behind and you may have some marks on your body. But what would happen if you didn't? What would happen if you just stayed with the flow? What would happen if you continued living life and going with the grain, following some type of set of principles or mantras that you were taught, and not finding your own truth within, not living in alignment with who you are meant to be?
Speaker 1:I hope you found this episode helpful.
Speaker 1:I hope that these questions will help you find clarity as you are continuing to move forward and step into your life's purpose, to find that courage.
Speaker 1:To find that courage to become more resilient and develop that unbreakable mind and body so that you can move forward in this life. Now, before I let you go, there is one more thing I want to mention. If you check the show notes, there is a link to download a free PDF that I have created and it's to help you get yourself into the right mindset before you step into the gym to train. It's a quick five minute ritual that you can implement every day before you get to the gym or before you walk into the gym or before you get on the fitness floor, so that you can move with purpose, so that you have clarity on what you're looking to execute and complete that day and you can continue to develop and foster that unbreakable mind and body. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed this episode, follow the show so that you can be notified when the next episode drops and, as always, I'll catch you on the next one.