Unbreakable Mind & Body
Welcome to The Unbreakable Mind & Body podcast with host, Tiana Gonzalez—a multi-passionate creative, storyteller, and entrepreneur with a fierce love for movement. This is our space for powerful stories and actionable strategies to help you build mental resilience and elevate your self-care practice. Together, we’ll unlock the tools you need to create an unbreakable mind and body.
Unbreakable Mind & Body
What Do You Do?: Crafting Your Identity
Have you ever stumbled when someone asks "What do you do?" That seemingly simple question often leaves us fumbling for words, underselling our value, or rambling without clarity. After attending a powerful female entrepreneurship conference in New York City, I'm sharing a perspective-shifting approach to answering this question in a way that truly captures your essence and impact.
As a multi-passionate creative who's navigated various professional identities, I understand the complexity of defining yourself when you don't fit neatly into one box. Many of us feel pressure to present ourselves as "pure entrepreneurs" or downplay certain aspects of our professional lives due to perceived judgment.
My non-linear path has taught me that there's no shame in creating a professional identity that combines entrepreneurial ventures with traditional employment if that arrangement creates a life you find fulfilling. What matters isn't whether whether you're building an authentic life aligned with your values.
When someone asks what you do, start with "I help..." followed by who you help and what transformation you facilitate. This immediately shifts focus from your title to your impact.
Download my free 5-minute pre-workout ritual guide through the link in the show notes, and share how you answer this question by reaching out!
Connect with Me
Instagram: www.instagram.com/tianasmindandmoves
Website: unbreakablemindandbody.com
Email: info@unbreakablemb.com
Download your Free 5-Min Pre-Workout Guide:
https://tiana-gonzalez.mykajabi.com/likeyoumeanit
Disclaimer: This show is for education and entertainment purposes only. This is not intended as a replacement for therapy. Please seek out the help of a professional to assist you with your specific situation.
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body podcast. I am your host, tiana Gonzalez, a multi-passionate, creative storyteller and entrepreneur with a fierce love for movement. This is our space for powerful stories and actionable strategies to help you build mental resilience and elevate your self-care practice. Together, we will unlock the tools that you need to create an unbreakable mind and body. Welcome back to the show. My name is Tiana and on this episode, we are going to dive into a very powerful, very common, very often asked and often answered question, the question being what do you do? Now?
Speaker 1:Before I dive into the episode, I want to backtrack and tell you about an event that I went to just a few days ago. That was spectacular, and it is at this event where one of the keynote speakers talked about this question and framed it in a way that I had never heard before and changed my perspective on it. So I went to an in-person networking event or conference, if you will, in New York City, and it was geared towards female entrepreneurs and business owners. There was a lineup of powerful speakers, there was a lunch included in the event, where we had an opportunity to meet new people and network with each other, and it was quite amazing. It takes a lot of work to put on an in-person event of that caliber. Initially, there were 200 tickets for the event. The event did sell out but, as we all know, sometimes things in life happen and between the point where the event was sold out and the first day of the conference, quite a significant number of people had to cancel their plans or shift gears and attend virtually. So they did offer that option as we got closer to the day of the event, which probably was helpful for some people who maybe had difficulties traveling or coming into New York City, or maybe they couldn't attend the whole thing, but they wanted to get a piece of the action.
Speaker 1:Now I'll tell you I feel funny actually a little bit Not funny in saying that I'm a female entrepreneur. Of course I am a female entrepreneur. Of course I am a female entrepreneur. I run my own business. I have done several reiterations of my branding. I have dived deep into self-improvement, professional development, personal development. I've hired business coaches. I've learned sales strategy. I've learned online marketing and sales. I've done all the things and I will say that for me personally, I burned the whole shit down.
Speaker 1:I left working for anyone else and was completely on my own in 2021. And I did that for really only a few months before I started to get stir crazy. I felt like I was always in my house, I was always home. There was no boundaries between work and personal life and every time I was home I felt this inordinate pressure to be productive all the time. For someone like me, who's a go-getter, who's a type A personality, who is someone who sets their mind on something and is relentless in that pursuit, it's dangerous, because in that case, it's too much of a good thing. So I decided towards, I would say, the fall of 2022. So it was about a year that I was completely on my own. I had my own app. I did my own lead generation, marketing, sales, content creation, invoicing, contracts, contract renewals, client onboarding and then the actual work of the business, which is online fitness training, nutrition, education, programming and mentorship.
Speaker 1:I was tired and I decided I needed more stimulation. I wanted to meet new people and I had been training at a gym that was really geared towards younger people. That was the ideal demographic Beautiful space, great equipment. Not necessarily the cleanest gym in the world, because it's a lot of younger kids and they don't take care of things as good, as some adults do. Typically. In this particular establishment, it was often that I would go to use the restroom and it would be messy and not just a little piece of paper on the floor here and there but like really gross. So I got turned off by that and I wanted to have another option. Somewhere else I could train and also meet new people.
Speaker 1:So I started working part-time at a CrossFit gym and, unfortunately for the people of that community and for the owner of that gym, the person who owned that gym just had a very set way of doing things and was not open to any sort of creative or constructive criticism or suggestions. So it was his way or the highway. And I remember discussing hey you know, I want more work or I want to do different types of work and here's what I can offer you. We had so many conversations about it and at the end of the day, his answer was to just give me more classes at a wage that perhaps is above the national average of what functional fitness coaches get paid. But for me and my level of experience, knowledge and what I bring to the table as a coach and mentor was severely underpaying me. So unfortunately, that didn't work out Now in 2023, I decided to go back into construction.
Speaker 1:I talk about that extensively on the previous episode. If you didn't catch that, I would love for you to check that out. But here we are now. At this time, I am no longer in construction and, yes, I have bounced around quite a bit. I'm fucking resilient and I know that I can handle change well as long as it's got some calculated risk and it feels like the juice is worth the squeeze, and I talk about that a lot on a lot of my previous episodes. So if you are new here, I'd love for you to carve out some time, maybe while you're cooking or if you're taking your dog out for a walk or while you're in the car, to check out some of my other episodes, because your girl can yap and I yap about a lot of shit.
Speaker 1:But coming back around to why, I felt a little insecure and sometimes I second guess myself or I stutter or I trip on my words when I call myself a small business owner or a female entrepreneur because right in this very moment, I am working at a big box gym and I love it. It fills my cup and it feeds my soul in a way that no other job has ever done before. I literally love going to work each day. I love my clients, I love the environment that I'm in, I love my team. I love my leadership. I can't say enough good things about this place. I spend a lot of time there, even when I am not working, because I thoroughly enjoy it and I love the brand. I stand behind almost everything that the brand represents and stands for. It's very much in line with my personal values.
Speaker 1:But when it comes to entrepreneurship, there is an energy of looking down on people who choose to keep a nine to five or never really expand their hobby or side job or a side hustle into their full-time journey. Listen, when you start to get older, the goal is not to work more. The goal is to create time freedom and financial freedom so that you're not working 24 hours a day, and there is a fine line between productivity and investing in the business and working on projects, creating things and overdoing it. Not have burned myself out with my online brand in 2021 and into 2022, which then steered me into going back into a nine to five in construction. Now, in the summer of 2024, right around just before Memorial Day of 2024, I quit construction and I did not have anything lined up, and that was scary as fuck. And I will tell you that had I not ever experienced entrepreneurial life, I wouldn't have had the courage to do that. You see, being an entrepreneur, I've failed so many times.
Speaker 1:I launched countless offers products, ebooks, coaching, containers, things like that. Sometimes it's it landed well and I would generate income from it. Sometimes I'd be talking to crickets. There were many times where I would do a masterclass or a webinar and there would be no one watching it. People would sign up but then they'd say, oh, we're, we're going to watch the recording and you know what. It can. Be so disheartening to put your heart and soul into something to present to an empty room, to get feedback from people saying like oh, you know I can't make it, or this looks really great, but it's not a good time for me. Whatever those reasons are and I'm not going to be a sassy person and say they're excuses, because sometimes they're not excuses, they're valid reasons and we should respect people who have even the slightest interest in what we do and how we do it but I have gone on a tangent and I want to bring it back to the conference because I wanted to reinforce that in my heart.
Speaker 1:I am an entrepreneur and I'm working on an offer and I'm in the creative process currently, and I had to slow it down a little bit this summer because I was working on doing a ton of photo shoots. I was working on doing a ton of photo shoots. I've had some perimenopause type of symptoms that I've been focusing on, and so there's just been a lot in my personal life and, quite frankly, when it's 90 degrees and sunny outside, I do not want to be sitting on my laptop. I want to be baking in the sun or dipping in the pool. So I have not completed the offer just yet and it's gotten a little muddy. I'm not super clear on what I'm going to do with it, but don't you worry, because as soon as I know what it is, I will be here to share it with you.
Speaker 1:This conference was awesome and once I got there, I felt like, oh yeah, I'm in the right room. I'm in a room full of I think there was about 170 attendees that showed up in person and it was fabulous. There was a lot of energy. There was a lot of energy. There was a sisterhood type of vibe and I think I want to throw my own event. Maybe not of that caliber, but I was inspired by one of the speakers who shared a story.
Speaker 1:She is in Florida and she's in the beauty spectrum of businesses. She offers waxing services and she mentioned that she had no intention of ever becoming an event planner or hosting events. However, she saw there was an opportunity or a need for people in her industry to connect in person and get together, posted something in a Facebook group, had 73 people interested. The first event about 50% of those people actually showed up and from there she's hosted several events. She's even been able to charge for the price of admission and offer different things and then upsell into whatever her containers are. So she does have her own business, and then she also coaches and mentors others who want to do what she does, and that's beautiful, and I think I'm brainstorming over here that maybe that's something that I would like to do. Now. I'm in Westchester County in New York, so I've got tons of options as far as places where I could host an event what type of event and this is still very, very fresh. I'm sure I'll gain clarity over the next few days once I sit with the idea a little bit more and think about what I would like the outcome to be.
Speaker 1:But going back to that original question that I shared, right after the intro another speaker presented a very cool question what do you do? And he framed his answer using basically the pitch or the tagline that many of the presenters that were physically in the room use. So it was kind of cool to see him make it relatable and use people that existed and were actually in the same room with all of us and bring their energy into his keynote speech. And when he talked about the question what do you do, he said it's a question that is so basic and is asked so often and a lot of times when it's our turn to answer it, we completely fumble it. It is totally boring. The person who asks it regrets asking us and nine times out of 10, they're like all right. I had two people ask me what do I do and I caught myself sort of in that same type of ramble that the speaker was talking about, where I was kind of going on and on and on and on the first person. The second person I just said I'm a fitness coach and a podcast host and I find this question super interesting and the thought process behind how to answer it even more interesting, because it is a question all of us get asked at some point Some of us maybe more than others if we're putting ourselves out there, if we're creating a bio for our Instagram profile, or if you're creating a TikTok and you're introducing yourself to your audience or to new people or people that find you on their For you page.
Speaker 1:So how do you answer that question succinctly and in a way that captures your energy? Well, what I learned at the conference was the easiest place to start when you're answering that question is to say I help fill in the blank with the type of person that you help, and then you help them do what with their what. Now I'll help you fill in these blanks here. So here's a good example. I would say, as an example, I help busy moms lose the last 10 pounds of baby fat so that they can feel great in their jeans fat so that they can feel great in their genes. That's a long answer and it's not a very good one, but that's an example. So, now that you know that, when you're looking at people's bios online, or maybe if you're looking to hire a trainer or coach. Nine times out of 10, you'll see something to that effect. It may not say the words I help blank, fill in the blank, blank, blank, but it'll be along, that vibe, that kind of energy.
Speaker 1:But when I was growing up, sometimes I would offend people by asking them what do you do? And I got to tell you. Looking back now, there was one incident when I was probably about 22 years old and the guy I was dating. I asked his friend hey, mike, what do you do? And my boyfriend got really pissed off at me and yelled at me in front of his friend and the other people that were around us and said that I was really rude and that I should never ask that question. Now I got to tell you instinctively. I assumed okay, this guy's either in the mob, or he's a drug dealer, or he runs numbers, he's a bookie, maybe he's an ex-con, I don't know, because I had been around some pretty shitty people at certain points. Prior to that, if you recall, my dad did over 13 years in jail in New York State and I spent a lot of time visiting him. So yeah, I definitely met criminals, that's for sure. And before my dad went to prison. He did have some interesting acquaintances that would stop by the karate school every once in a while. So I learned my lesson not to ask that question if my boyfriend was around or if it was one of his friends, because somehow that would be considered offensive.
Speaker 1:Now, at this point in my life, I understand how somebody could find it offensive, because in certain instances asking someone what they do can imply that they're being sized up, that the person asking is preparing to make a judgment of the other party. Before that experience in my 20s of getting my head ripped off, that would never have been the case. When we ask somebody what they do, it's more of getting to know them and finding out how do they spend a lot of their time? What do they find interesting? Do they enjoy their work? Is it their passion? Do they have hobbies that they've turned into their career? Or is it something where they just check off a box, get a paycheck and they call it a day and there is absolutely no judgment and nothing wrong with that either. But it's interesting to me because I think that at certain points in time I have felt a little bit of shame or judged myself harshly in telling people I'm a personal trainer, because, if you know anything about fitness, there are a lot of personal trainers that are fucking broke. There are a lot of personal trainers that are struggling financially. There are a lot of personal trainers that don't make the cut. They don't know how to sell themselves and to build a business, but they're not taught any of that. Most trainers get into fitness because they are passionate about helping people. Maybe they had a parent or a loved one or a distant cousin or friend who went on an incredible weight loss journey and they were inspired. Maybe they went on an incredible weight loss journey and feel like they want to share their knowledge with their clients.
Speaker 1:For me personally, I started bodybuilding and I had a lot of success, but then I also had a lot of heartbreak because I was at the peak condition, won my pro card and within a couple of weeks I was significantly heavier. I was out of shape because I had issues with my metabolism, my thyroid, my kidney, my liver it's a very long list of things and it took me over a decade to reverse some of that damage not all of it to get my health back in order, and through those experiences I realized there's a lot of misinformation out there. There are a lot of women who could benefit from learning a little bit about my experiences and me, helping them to not make the same mistakes, and that's why I became a trainer. But I don't have any shame about what I do now. In fact, I'm incredibly proud of it, because what I do is not just count reps.
Speaker 1:You know, I'll never forget this story. It was probably the second gym I ever worked at. We're going back to 2014, maybe 2015. And there was a young lady that worked in the boutique within the gym. There was a tiny little clothing boutique in this gym and she knew everybody. She had a big mouth, she knew all the gossip, so I was careful with her not to tell her too many personal things, because then I knew everyone in the gym would know my business. But she asked me to help her and she was very cheap. She would always show up late, she complained the whole time and we only did 30 minute sessions and I will never forget she may have had one or two sessions left in the package that she bought and I asked her if she was going to renew and she was kind of like, you know, oh no, this is fine, but I'm just going to finish these sessions and then, you know, do what you taught me. I don't need somebody to count my reps, excuse me, the audacity, the fucking audacity. So I'll never forget that and maybe that's part of where that shame was rooted.
Speaker 1:You know that somebody would say that that's what they think of me. That's all I do is count your reps. Unfortunately, that person was just not a good person and the words they stung a lot in the moment and they kind of echoed for a long time because I was fearful that that's what people thought of me. But I know that's not true and, just like I mentioned in several episodes previously, thoughts are just thoughts. They're not necessarily truths. And even if you believe something, a belief is simply something that you have thought about or still think about so much and you get confirmation bias and you believe it to be true for you, but it may not be an absolute truth for everyone. And so it's good to have some curiosity and to question your thoughts, and in this case, I know what I do is so much more than that. But going back to the question what do you do? But going back to the question what do you do? How would you answer that question? I'd love to hear your answers, and maybe, when you initially think of your answer, it has nothing to do with what you do use work. I would say similar to what I say in the intro of this show I'm a multi-passionate, creative storyteller. I help people find the courage within them to face the challenges that are in their way, to overcome the obstacles that they believe are bigger than them which they're not and to help them achieve anything they set their mind to. Now, that's a really long answer, but that's it in a nutshell.
Speaker 1:At the conference, I met this wonderful speaker and she teaches people how to create powerful keynotes and pitch themselves for public speaking gigs. She asked me well, what is it that you do? I had mentioned to her before she asked me that I'm kind of in this limbo space right now because I work in person exclusively and I'm creating an offer and I have the podcast exclusively. And I'm creating an offer and I have the podcast and I'm trying to make it all cohesive, and I know that I will. It's just in this development stage right now.
Speaker 1:And so I said I'm a fitness coach and a podcast host and I said the name of the show Unbreakable Mind and Body and I said you know, we talk about all of the mental stuff, and so I help my clients with the mental aspect, and then we get our asses in the gym and we get into our bodies. And she looked at me and she said I actually think that that's beautiful and it works really well together. She's like they're completely related, because you train your mind to train your body. If you train your body, you will also train your mind, and so I loved getting that confirmation and validation from an external source, because it just helped me feel a little bit better about all the things that I've been doing. And the truth is, do I need approval? No, I can do whatever the fuck I want to, but it's nice to know that it actually landed with someone, someone who is in the online space, who's in the coaching space, who does public speaking and who understands the way that online business works and how it's very different from in-person coaching. So if you were to answer the question, what do you do? How would you answer it? Now I'm going to challenge you and I'm going to ask you to get in touch with me and let me know what your answer is you can check the show notes to find me on Instagram. You can also download a beautiful freebie that I made.
Speaker 1:It's a mini guide. It's a five minute pre-workout ritual. There's five steps. Each step takes about a minute the first time. You know the first couple of times that you do it and then from there you can do it with you know, just a few seconds to get clear on what it is you're going to accomplish in the gym that very day.
Speaker 1:You do this before you get out onto the fitness floor. You decide your top three exercises that you're going to complete and you make sure that you have a plan so that you stick to it, and it doesn't have to be a written down plan. It doesn't have to be a gorgeous workout routine to it and it doesn't have to be a written down plan. It doesn't have to be a gorgeous workout routine. What I mean by a plan is that you mentally have a plan of what you're going to do. For example, you want to do push or you want to do chest and tries. Okay, that's what I mean. So if you're interested in checking out my Instagram, send me a text or downloading that mini guide Instagram, send me a text or downloading that mini guide. The way to do all of that is in the show notes. I appreciate you being here. I appreciate your time and attention, as always, and I'll catch you on the next one.